It’s only partially about the number on the scale.
I’m sure you’ve heard the age-old question, “What would you do if you could not fail?”
I’ve heard that a million times throughout my years being self-employed.
Yet it never totally resonated with me until I realized that I had the answer so many women were looking for and I started helping women navigate the insanity that is being overweight.
The magnitude of lives not fully lived because of extra weight coupled with my knowing what the answer is fuels me forward day-after-day.
I visit daily with women every week that reach out to me and ask for my help in getting to the bottom of what’s really keeping them from reaching their goal weight.
At least, that’s what it would look like on the surface to someone looking in.
I’ve talked to thousands of women struggling with their weight and you know what they’re really asking for my help with?
They’re asking for help finding freedom.
Freedom from excess weight is the goal they can put their finger on.
When we actually connect to visit, though, it’s a totally different story.
It’s freedom from the worry about health issues that they know they are careening towards.
Freedom from being totally pissed-off and disconnected from their body, and wondering why in the hell nothing they’ve tried works.
Freedom from weight being the one damn place in their lives they can’t quite get it together.
Freedom from the nagging feeling that their weight is the one thing keeping them from living the life of their dreams.
This all makes them wonder if there’s some reason (that isn’t clear to them but they’ve spent years looking) that this is just their burden to carry.
Which takes them out of being present in the moment.
From truly connecting with their partner.
From engaging with their children and grandchildren fully in the moment.
From showing up fully in life.
While life marches forward and they think… tomorrow… Monday.. .I will figure this out.
Enter the new diet excitement high…
They grab that magazine off of the newsstand. Turn to Google.
They piece together something their doctor said with something their best friend said, and add a tiny piece of their own intuition, then sign up for the next greatest eating plan that they just know is going to be the key.
They get excited for a few days.
Cancel a few social events knowing they need to set themselves up for success.
Spend time letting themselves know that by God this time they are doing this.
No amount of temptation can take them off the tracks.
Maybe they pin a picture of their goal on their fridge (again).
Throw away the “no” food.
Get all of the “yes” food on hand.
Their family goes with it; they know it will blow over within a week.
They let them know that damn it, this time it’s for real and share all of their new insight as to why this one is going to work.
They feel on top of the world for a few days.
Hungry, but that’s not an unfamiliar feeling. In fact, that means they’re really doing this.
By day 5, their resolve starts to waffle.
They realize this isn’t remotely a sustainable way to eat.
They start to question their commitment.
They start to entertain ways to stick with it yet bend the rules.
Their restriction-induced survival instincts hijack their rational brain.
Just one bite turns into just one bag.
Their feeling of determination disappears with each new bite…
It doesn’t even taste good anymore, but they’ve already blown it so might as well eat the whole thing…
And now the sweet/salty binge begins.
They fall into bed in a carb-induced stupor to wake up totally disillusioned with themselves, even more disconnected and pissed-off at their body, 5 lbs. heavier, and mentally exactly where they started, once again.
The judgment voice inside starts yelling, louder than ever, “Why the hell can’t you get this figured out?”
Instead of noticing the sun shining and the world around them, they narrow their existence even more and ruminate about this situation and what it will really take to succeed.
My email hits their inbox and, even though they desperately want it to be just about the food, they know it isn’t and they know that what I say makes sense.
So they reach out.
I explain exactly what’s driving them to eat. The biological/hormonal reasons, the emotional/unconscious reasons, the habit/automatic reasons.
Because no amount of the perfect diet can override the emotional/habitual drivers to overeat. And no amount of emotional eating work can override the biological/hormonal drivers to overeat.
The only way to stop the diet roller-coaster-from-hell is to tackle this from all three angles.
Yes, WHAT you eat matters.
But so does HOW you eat, and WHY you eat.
I’ve been where you are and my goal in life is to help you achieve peace around food/body/weight for good.
So you can step fully into your beautiful, messy, real-life that’s been going on around you all along.
I wish you absolute peace around body, food, and weight so that you can put this behind you for good and get back to the business of truly living your life.